abi (heart_____pound) wrote,
abi
heart_____pound

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nothing/body

i'm living that 4 a.m. lifestyle.
you can't understand that until you've got all i do.
when you know a look at therapy is just a wink away.
and you know there's no point in trying to make it all normal.
because you've never even known what the word normal means.

living that 3 a.m. lifestyle.
it's when the lights go down in this central idea.
two slices of skin over top of the only windows to that thing that ticks when i see his face.
you think nothing in the world can stop you by that point.
but that's where your wrong.
every time it happens.
you expect the good.
you get the worse.

sleeping at 7.
waking up at 7:15.
only to see her dad come down the stairs and leave for work.
god if only i could have those days back.

those days spent in her room.
where michael jackson made an appearance.
where fall out boy ate books.
and we all partied like virginia was the homeland.

those nights spent eating ramen til we burst.
or until our eyes burned with tears of joy.
staying up all night just to watch music videos.
only to end up yelling at the t.v. everytime those boys who burn dreams came on.

those are the days i want back.

instead of being there.
staying up til 7 with them.
in complete and udder happiness.

i'm satying up here.
crying myself to some state of sleep.
in complete hopelessness.

so here's to the days the three of us dream about.
here's to our time to shine.
here's to chicago.

three and a half years to go.

i'm sure i'll still be living the 4 a.m. lifestyle.
but at least it will be with the only family i've ever had.
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